we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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