The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
