Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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