But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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