operation harelip BJ is a go
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
