in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
try to milk me bitch
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
