Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
