this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
