the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
