Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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