What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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