The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
