So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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