He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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