She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
