i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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