Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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