I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
