walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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