She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
