I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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