I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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