I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
