it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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