While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
