Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
