A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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