I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
