Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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