Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
