I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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