took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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