I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
