Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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