im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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