dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
