she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
