we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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