I must be too annoying 4 u.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
