I just cut my nipple shaving
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
