You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
