Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize