I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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