Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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