I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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