Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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