The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
its liver damage thursday
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