Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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