i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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