apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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