I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
