why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
