As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
