I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
