Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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