Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
