first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
