Plan B is the new Plan A
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
