it was like his penis was on wheels.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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