I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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