who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
