im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
