Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
