we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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